


Bra

by Morethancupcake



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Professor Castiel, infidelity except not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:24:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3838720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"From all the clichés, from everything that could've happened, Castiel didn't think he would one day be the one to find a bra under his bed."</p>
<p>from a prompt I received.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bra

**Author's Note:**

> one of my best friends said "just write a story where Castiel finds a bra under their bed". I need better friends.

He finds it under their bed, on a Sunday. The sun is pouring through the window, and Castiel had decided today was a good day to clean, to open the house and let the cold air wash everything. He had done a few batches of laundry, and could smell the soap in the house. He had wanted to make their room clean and perfect.

And he had found it.

It was comically painful. From all the clichés, from everything that could've happened, Castiel didn't think he would one day be the one to find a bra under his bed. He holds it between his fingers for a while, and shifts from kneeling on the floor to sitting there, trying to make sense of it.

Trying to find another answer. Begging his mind to provide him with a better one. 

It's bright pink, with lace, and it still smells sickeningly sweet. 

His mind is trying to picture the girl. Her name. Her face. Was she blonde ? Dean had a thing for dark hair. Cassie, Lisa. Castiel. Maybe he needed the change. Maybe he needed another flavor, another body under him. 

Castiel can't find in himself the force to be mad. He can't feel anything, but this vague nausea and he's so tired, suddenly. 

He finishes the room, puts on fresh sheets and goes to take a shower. He stays under the spray for a long time, even after it turns ice cold on his skin, and he can hear Dean making noise in the kitchen.

The bra is carefully folded in a towel, on the back of his drawer.

 

Dean's eyes are still warm and open. He looks like a kid, still. Even the lines on his face can't spoil the boyish charm. Castiel had falled for it, Dean's surprised laughs, the way he would look at him, soft and perfect. He doesn't understand how someone can look at him like that, and then... But he's hard to love, that much he knows. He's weak, and boring. He's silent when he should speak up, and he's a babbling mess when he should shush. Dean probably needs to be with someone confident like he is. Someone who isn't afraid of sex, someone who doesn't see it as love. Someone fun and wild like he used to be, before Castiel. Before the boring life he believed in few hours ago.

Dean talks about work, about the boys. Castiel thinks about Benny, if maybe he knows, if Dean told him about it. He wonders if maybe he knows the girl. Maybe it's Jo, she had been in love with the green eyes too, in the past. Maybe Dean had finally stopped seeing her like a sister. Maybe it's Lisa. Lisa, beautiful and kind Lisa, Lisa the love of Dean's life. Maybe Dean finally realised she was the one, not him. He makes himself sick, thinking about it.

He frowns in his coffee cup until Dean asks about it. Castiel looks into his eyes for a long time, trying to find anwsers.

I'll forgive him if he tells me right now, he thinks. I'll forgive him if it was just once. I'll forgive him if it was just sex. I'll forgive him if he promises he won't do it again.

Dean looks at him with worried eyes. He tries to reach for his boyfriend, but Castiel flinches. 

Something is broken.

For the first time since they started to date, years ago, they go to sleep in silence, Castiel facing the window. He is cold.

Dean is gone, when we wakes up. It's Monday, and there's coffee in the kitchen. Dean already left for work, and it's hard not to think. Not to think about his boyfriend laughing with other people, flirting with other people. It's hard remembering to breathe and to focus on his classes and his students. It's hard, but losing it could mean losing Dean completely, and he's not ready for that. He can lie too, if it mean keeping his life as is it.

That night, when Dean enters the house, there's chicken cooking and his favorite show is on. Castiel asks about his day, and offers to run him a bath. Dean's kisses are deep and rough, and Castiel tells himself he can do it. He can do anything if it means being Dean's. Even if he's not the only one.

Later, when Dean is asleep on his shoulder, Castiel looks at the ceiling, and remembers all the hiccups. All the little things in the beginning, that had made him hesitant. Dean's reputation. Dean's lists of friends with benefits, one night stands, lovers. He hadn't been jealous, at that time, just insecure. Not really wanting to trust the man who was laughing with his friend at the fact he had never been able to be faithful with his heart. But Dean had been persistant, wooing him with trips to the lake to watch the stars, dinner dates at the Roadhouse. 

So maybe it's just Castiel fault, for believing Dean when he had said he was serious, and he was going to change.

 

Something is broken, and it's festering.

 

He looses his appetite, and forgets his keys two days in a row. He sits on the porch and waits or Dean, too afraid to call and maybe disturb him. He watches the sun set, he can see the kids playing in their little street, he can see their parents watching them from their gardens, and he enjoys it all, a little smile on his face. Dean watches him for a few seconds, eyes cloudy and almost angry, before passing him by to open the door. They eat in silence, and the pink fabric upstairs is turning the air heavy and sick. Castiel excuses himself and goes to sleep, not wanting to face Dean's eyes anymore.

 

"Are you happy, Cas ?" Dean asks him one Sunday night, when they're driving home from Mary's. He is almost asleep, both with the amazing food they had earlier, and the tub of left-over warm and heavy on his knees. He pretends he is, because he doesn't know what to say, how to deal with this. Dean isn't angry, now. He sounds sad, and this isn't something Castiel can understand. "Are you still happy with me ?" Dean whispers, fingers playing on his hand. "Why can't it be enough for you ?"

Castiel pretends he's still asleep, and he tries not to cry when he hears the catch in Dean's breath.

 

In the morning, Dean laughs when making breakfast, and he talks about going to the beach house, and spending time there just the two of them. He kisses Castiel, lips a little desperate, and his eyes turn lost and terrified when Castiel tells him it will be difficult for him to leave work on such short notice.

"I get it. No, of course. You must have things to do anyway ? People to see ?"

 

It makes him mad. Mad Dean is turning him into the bad guy. Dean looks hurt, and wary, and he spends the week-end at Bobby's, getting too drunk to come home. That's what the old man says on the phone, and Castiel wonders if Bobby would lie to him to cover the boy he raised. 

 

Dean avoids him, and he's home late. He looks sad, so sad, and Castiel is torn between keeping things as they are, their life together, and letting him go, finally, to be happy somewhere else, with someone who managed to steal him away. Autumn comes suddenly, cold wind and crispy leaves, and Castiel gets sick, with too little food and too much on his mind. Dean is away, he leaves notes on the kitchen table, managing to come and go without even a sound, a ghost in their home. Castiel isn't even sure he's sleeping there anymore, his side of the bed often cold and untouched. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't dare to. His world is fading away, the perfect colours slowly disappearing, and there's nothing he can do. He goes to see the doc, and doesn't even fight the sick leave handed to him. He gets his meds and waits for the bus, not feelig strong enough to walk, not wanting to disturb anyone. He sits on the little bench, head heavy with fever, and he watches his hands, his shoes. He wonders what Dean sees when he sees him now. Is he disgusted ? Does he feel guilty ?

He grabs a juice box, one of the few things he remembered to buy this week, and he drowns his meds with it. He considers a bath, and then goes for a shower, too afraid of falling asleep in the tub. His skin is hurting, his head is hurting, and for once he's glad he can't feel anything. He puts on Dean's pyjamas, the soft cotton smelling like him, and he burries himself under the covers.

He wakes up around two in the morning, and Dean isn't there. He walks to the bathroom and drinks water straight from the tap. He feels tears on his face, but he tells himself it's the fever. It's the fever.

He wakes up several times during the night, using the bathroom, and drinking more water before passing out. Dean isn't here.

Everything is warm, pleasantly warm. He can feel fingers in his hair, like when he was little and Michael would read him stories before bed. Michael used to call him peanut, and his eyes were nice and understanding. He misses him.

"Hey, Cas. I'm not Michael, no. Wake up buddy." Dean's voice sounds strange, almost forgotten. Castiel looks at him through the sickness, and the sleep, and he doesn't really believe it at first. "You think you can drink a little more juice, Cas ?" He shakes his head slowly, and goes back to sleep.

 

He wakes up again, and it's sunny outside. Dean is under the covers next to him, holding him close, so he probably wasn't a dream. He looks sad, as usual, and worried. He cups Castiel's jaw to check for temperature, then his hands go back to his hips and his chest, and he can't hide his little grimace.

"You lost weight." he whispers, and Castiel has to nod. "There's no food in the kitchen, why is that ?"

"You left." His voice is rough, it hurts to talk, and to swallow. He closes his eyes again, and lets himself go. Dean holds him close and he says. "Who is she ?". Dean holds him close, and he falls asleep.

 

He knows he should be eating. He feels dizzy, and he's too exhausted to move, but he knows meds on an empty stomach are a bad idea. He knows he should try to push something, anything in his system, but still, he frowns in front of the bowl of soup Dean puts in front of him. 

"Eat. So we can talk." Castiel doesn't want to talk. He doesn't want to face this, this chaos, this mess they became. He's good at pretending, and he wants to pretend more. To pretend everything is okay. 

"What do you need to talk about ?" The soup doesn't taste like anything, and the crackers are like sand on his tongue. He sips at his juice slowly.

"I wasn't with anyone, Cas. I wouldn't do that to you." He closes his eyes, because he can't face the lie. Dean is a good liar. His voice laced with pride and hurt, and something like anger. Like he's allowed to feel betrayed Castiel even suggested it. "I am not like that, apparently."

"I know, Dean." The green eyes are surprised, and curious, and Dean frowns at him. "Please don't lie, I know about it. It our room. I found her bra, when I was cleaning. Please don't lie." He wants to go on. To say it's okay, he can be a man a take it, he can forgive. He wants to say it, but he doesn't trust his voice, and he know he'll sob if he tries to lie, too.

"The bra... you mean it wasn't you...?" Dean reaches for his hand, and his eyes are... hopeful ? "The pink bra under our bed ?" Castiel nods, tears in his eyes. "I found it too, I thought it was... I thought maybe you...?" Dean's smile is wobbly, and he laughs a little before grabbing his hand. "You thought it was me ?"

"It.. wasn't ?"

Dean kisses him despite the germs, and he tells him to shup up and finish his soup before they talk more.

Back to bed, after a very nice shower and a backrub under the warm water, Dean traces his ribs with his fingertips, scowling at them as if they were an insult to him. Castiel explains. He tells him about the Sunday, and the sun in their room, and the bra. Dean kisses his forehead and tells him about his phone on the floor, and finding the bra on his way to work. He tells him about the ball of fear in his gut when it had vanished the next day, and how he had been sure Castiel was going to get rid of him soon. Castiel doesn't know if his head is spinning from the meds or the relief, but he kisses Dean's collarbone, and he falls asleep to Dean making a list of the potential suspects.

 

Sam, Jess and baby Robert are staying with them for the week-end. Robert is now two, and he's a demon. A very cute, all Winchester-charm demon. Dean and Sam are trying to exhaust him in the garden, while Castiel is taking care of lunch, Jess helping him with the chopping. The bra is neatly folded on top of the pile of clothes going to charity, when Jess see it and grabs it, hiding it behind her.

"Hey ! This is mine !" She blushes and stares at Cas with a look of pure consternation. "How did it end up here ?"

"It was under our bed." He says, getting rid of the last bits of dough on his fingers, eyebrows up to his hairline. "Care to explain ?" A heartbeat. "Please, don't tell me... Not in our bed ?!"

Jess doesn't have the time to answer. Robert's giggles are the only warning they get before he burst into the room, running around with a piece of fabric in his little hands. 

"Hey there, little boy. What did you get here ?" Castiel tries to grab him, but the toddler giggles and runs away, holding his possession to his chest.

"Robert ! Come back here ! Give daddy his underwear back !" Sam is running after his son, Dean behind him laughing like a maniac, filming everything on his phone. "Come here ! No ! Come back here and put it back in Daddy's bag !"

 

Castiel looks at his sister-in-law, who looks at him with a tired smile. He can't help it. He laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> as usual you can find it on tumblr : http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/post/117613826014/bra
> 
> this is the part where I tell you kudos and nice comments are warm brownies to the soul. Remember to eat and sleep regularly.
> 
> P.S Little kids will steal your underwear and parade with it in front of everyone. Believe me I know.


End file.
